Real Housewives Of Orange County Episode 4. IT'S NOT BULLYING!

04/23/2013 09:20


I know this verges on ridiculous but I think it needs to be addressed one more time.  People are still confused about what the word bully means and what it implies.  

A bully is someone who threatens, intimidates or causes harm to get one’s way.   A child, who has no choice, who has to go to school and walk the halls and sit in a classroom with an abuser is someone who is bullied.  A child who has to ride a bus with his abuser is someone who is the victim of bullying.  A child who is abused because of their physical, mental or emotional traits is the victim of bullying.

A grown woman, who chooses to go to a party where she wasn’t invited or welcome is not the victim of bullying.  A grown woman who chooses to make snide remarks and confronts the invited guests at a party, is not a victim of bullying.  She was not forced to be there. She chose to be there and she chose to confront guests. Victims of bullying feel powerless and without options or a voice.  This is absolutely not the case with Alexis.

Alexis knew she was not going to be welcome at Tamra’s.  Why would she be welcome when she had threaten to sue Tamra?  And yet she went anyway.  Trust me, there is absolutely no dignity at showing up someplace where you are not invited and not welcome.  Had she come to the party, thanked Tamra for including her, and sat quietly, there may not have been an issue.  But Alexis didn’t do that.  She started in with everyone at a very tense and volatile situation.   

Alexis has a history of stirring the pot and then crying victim.  In Costa Rica, she was the one who asked the women to discuss the “elephant in the room”.  When the women responded to Alexis’s question, she cries victim!  (Don’t ask the question if you’re not prepared to hear the answer!)  When they were in San Francisco, Alexis was the one leading the charge against Vicky!   Alexis is the one who walked into the party, where she wasn’t invited, pretending to be supportive of Tamra and yet she has the cajones to accuse Heather of being phony?  Heather was being a reasonable adult keeping it civil out of respect for her host.  Alexis’s comments were puerile and petty. Alexis seems to have a very short memory.


Why would Alexis, who wasn’t even invited to the party, feel free to invite Lydia? To a party of a woman she wants to sue?   Who does that???   If she desperately needed camera time, why not ask her new besties to go do something else with her?  Why didn’t Vicky, Lydia and Alexis go out somewhere else with a camera crew?   She chose to attend a party where she wasn’t welcome and she chose to aggressively mouth off to the invited guests and then cry victim.  Its wrong and its offensive to every child who is suffering legitimate, cruel bullying.  

We knew Tamra regretted saying yes to Vicky when Vicky asked to bring Alexis.  I totally get that.  When I am put on the spot, I usually give in and try to take the high road.  And, it is usually a mistake.  It was wrong of Vicky to exploit Tamra in this way.  Tamra was making a genuine effort to repair a very damaged friendship and Vicky knew this and took advantage of it.  Vicky knew exactly what she was doing.  Again, we see Vicky is really just a rebellious, hormonal teenager prone to outbursts, tantrum and mean girl manipulations.   

As the show progresses, we see the resentment build in Tamra with each second approaching the party.  By the time the party was underway and The Unwanted were starting their jabs and digs, Tamra was a powder keg ready for just one spark to blow it all up!   Alexis started confronting Tamra’s guests but when she starts crying victim again, that was all it took! BAM!  Tamra lost it in a BIG way and tossed Alexis out!  Good for her!  I completely get where Tamra was coming from.  I am not sure I would have handled it in the same way, but good for her for taking charge and not letting Alexis and her nonsense take over her party.  

The bottomline is Alexis is not victim.  She is a troublemaker who never should have gone to that party.  


Some other observations of the night?  

- Gotta love when Vicky of all people cautions Tamra to “Act her age and show some respect”.  Vicky, the woman who pitches a fit and has tantrums that rival any two year old is lecturing on maturity?  

- Apparently Lydia thinks ass-cheeks are in this season.  

- Gretchen’s lips are looking plumper than ever.  Is anyone else sick of the over plumped plastic looking lips?  

- I loved when Alexis, Vicky and Lydia were engaging in deep intellectual conversation concerning the use of the phrase “woooo hoooo”.  Apparently Vicky is under the impression she actually coined this phrase, which is really pretty funny.  Lydia defends her use of the phrase “woooo hooo” by explaining “It comes from within me”.  Deep.  Very Deep.  (These 3 combined are dumber than a box of rocks.)

- Talk about a Freudian slip!  Vicky referring to Briana’s baby as “My Baby” was so revealing and confirms everything we all know: Vicky is so egocentric and controlling, she really does consider Briana and Briana’s offspring as “hers”, as possessions she owns.  She believes that baby is literally her baby.  Again I say, poor Briana.  


- Apparently Tamra is attracted to a “type”.  The controlling type.  Her former husband, Simon: controlling.  Her former best friend, Vicky: controlling. Her current fiance, Eddie: controlling.  Does it get any more controlling than a man saying to his fiance “Don’t forget to flush!”  HA!  I died when I heard that!  I was waiting for him to remind her to wash her hands too!  WOW!  That was funny.  


What are your thoughts?  comment below.

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